I wasn't giving God 100-percent. But, I didn't realize it at the time. It is said that hindsight gives you a 20-20 perspective on what you have been through. That is true of my ministry service.
Three-and-a-half-years ago, God called me into full-time ministry. At first, things seemed glorious. I had waited several years for God to speak that kind of direction, and the vision of changed lives was very powerful. My only desire was to fulfill the mission God had provided me.
That lasted all of about three months.
It was at point that I started hearing voices. Not the schizophrenic kind, but those of people around me. I believe everyone means well when they try to advise, but they cannot truly speak the direction God is providing for a person. Anyone entering the ministry has to first listen for the voice of God, then use the people around them as confirmation pieces.
That is where I went wrong.
I quickly let my desire to serve God turn my ears from Him and toward my own logic and reasoning. I allowed the people speaking to me to overshadow what God was saying to my heart. The people weren't wrong. I was. I had violated Galatians 1:10: "I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant."
In a way, I had become more interested in pleasing people, and my own desires, then I was in patiently waiting for God to speak. I began to develop my own set of plans and ideas that were based on my intellect and reasoning. Waiting on God was replaced with the line, "This is the logical course of action."
DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! There is no other word to describe it.
Eventually, all those ministry plans I had personally dreamt up went up in a cloud of smoke. My own pride and selfishness not only destroyed the ministry God called me to do, but it also nearly destroyed my marriage.
Maybe I have just described you. Here's a word of advice. STOP! You cannot give God what He desires for you when you are giving yourself the desires that you want.
Tomorrow, I'll talk more about giving God your all.
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