When I was a boy, I loved school. I loved to learn new things. I was one of the smartest kids in my class. So smart, in fact, that I was able to breeze through high school without really giving my best. I had learned how to get by. I could've had straight A's, but settled for a mix of A's and B's. I couldn't see it at the time, but I was setting myself up for big trouble a few years later.
High school had the benefit of (mostly) friendly teachers who wanted to help you learn. But, they didn't pressure you to necessarily do your best. Good enough to get by was okay for them. They thought they were preparing us for college, but they missed it entirely for the kids who were doing enough to get by.
Needless to say, my college years were very difficult. I had been used to doing just enough to get by, but in college, that doesn't cut it. What used to be enough to get an A grade would translate into a C or D, because of the lack of effort. Doing your best is mandatory in college. And, a lot of people drop out due to a less than 100-percent effort. I almost did.
It was only because of a strong desire to complete my degree, and encouragement from my family that I was able to get my bachelor's degree in mathematics. I'm proud of that degree, but not nearly as proud as I would've been had I given my best.
Sadly, I didn't learn my lesson. In work, at home, and at church, I found ways to just do good enough. Mediocrity will work for a while, but when the hard tests comes, it crumbles. And, that is what I did over the past three years.
As I've written already this week, God gave me a unique vision for ministry a little over three-years ago. Instead of giving God my best for Him, I started doing enough to get by. When His vision became more of my personal agenda, it became that much easier to compromise.
Eventually, this started to show in some preaching that I did, as well as my willingness to serve people. One thing I didn't realize at the time was that my mediocre efforts reflected poorly on myself and God. Had I continued down that path, it would've eventually caught up with me, and that would not have been pretty.
About a year ago, I scraped those plans of mine. There were other circumstances that contributed to the decision, but looking back, I know it was for the best. I simply wasn't giving my all to God.
For the past year, I have been resting. I haven't been giving God nearly 100 percent, but the focus hasn't been on my agenda, either. My wife says I have been going through a bout of depression. Maybe so. What I do know is that my heart was not interested in too may changed lives.
Today, that is starting to change. God is renewing that vision in me, and I hope to share more about this tomorrow.
I am developing a give-it-my-all attitude where second-rate efforts won't be accepted. I'm applying this to every area of my life. It hasn't been an overnight effort. It's taking time. It's gradual. God is re-defining who I am. Romans 12:2 says, "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
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