I love God, and I love Jesus. But, right now, God has me very perplexed.
Two-and-a-half-years ago, God gave me a vision and a calling into Christian ministry. Now, I have worked in Christian radio since the mid-90s, and have served in various church leadership capacities over the past decade, but that calling meant God was going to ramp up His mission for me.
I have assumed this "calling" meant pastoring a church, and for the past couple of years I have worked toward that end. I sensed the clock was ticking to get ordained and begin the church work. I'll be 35 on Easter Sunday, and I have been wanting to quit wasting time and get started.
But, it seems that at nearly every corner, stuff has just not worked out like I thought it should. This has led to a lot of confusion and stress over what God's "calling" really meant for myself and my family. Adding to that, I took a ministry assessment earlier this week that totally flipped me over, because it revealed a lot of deficiencies in areas I thought were pretty solid.
A couple of days have passed, and now I'm getting frustrated, because I am desperate to know God's plan. I'm also frustrated, because I'm realizing that it isn't God the one who is perplexing. I'm realizing that my frustration is caused by my impatience. And, it's my short-sightedness that prevents me from understanding His will.
Have you ever been there? Eager to get involved in what God is calling you to do, but a too impatient to wait for Him to reveal it? Too short-sighted to see the big picture, even though you know it's there...somewhere? Tell me your experiences.
Hey Kyle, yeah I was there, I felt God call me into ministry at 16, for the next 10 years I went through all sorts of stuff that seemed to take me further away from the reality of my calling than closer to it. I would think all the time that either God had forgotten what he had promised or I had messed it up. When I went on staff at a church I thought I had reached it, but realized it was only a stepping stone. It may not be comfort to you know, but Jesus was called before he was born, but yet he was 30 when his public ministry started. I believe in those 30 years he was being prepared for an awesome 3 years. I think you don't need to worry where you are going because God will take care of that, but ask yourself what is my calling (or task) today and what do I need to learn today so that I can make a step forward, then tom orrow when you wake up you'll be closer to the place that God ultimately designed for you.
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