If I didn't nail you yesterday, then you'd best duck, because you're gonna get hammered today.
We're all imperfect, although most of the time we live in denial. As part of our dismissive personalities, we turn our attention to the errors of those around us...usually those closest to us. We use attacks on others as our way to cope with our own imperfections.
I've been the perp and the vic, so again it makes me a quasi-expert.
It's wierd. We will treat complete strangers, who have never earned our trust, with more respect than we give to those we say we love. It's probably because we know all the junk of those we spend the most time with.
To that extent, what we do to our friends and family at times is nothing short of reprehensible. We take other's mistakes and beat them around the head with our criticisms. In just a few seconds, with just a few words, we can destroy the self-esteem of those around us. I know, I've done it. And, I'm not proud of it.
It's so easy to nitpick the behaviors of those around us, to the point of driving them away from us. This isn't the role that Jesus tells us to take. He told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. We never want to point out the junk in our life. Likewise, we should use great caution when going after someone else's baggage.
There's a time and a place for correction, but that must only be done in a mentoring situation where the correction leads to positive change in a person's life. Pointing out someone's failures without a mentoring attitude not only destroys the person you're attacking, but it also lessens their respect for you.
My wife and I just completed the Love Dare, and this book (along with the movie Fireproof) went a long way toward showing us how unfair criticism can hurt relationships and drive people away.
The clock is ticking. How about making a vow to God today to change the way you criticize those around you before you ruin those relationships? Ask God to point out the areas you are being unfair toward others, and to help you overcome this problem in your own life. Chances are that change won't come easy. It will take time, but we must put 2 Corinthians 10:5 into practice every waking moment of our lives.
Good post, chief. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that we take our loved ones for granted, and that many times when we get frustrated at life or things out of our control that we unload that frustration on those closest to us. It by no means is right, but more a byproduct of proximity.
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