Well, the preacher he's too young. And, maybe he's too old. The sermons
they're not hard enough. And, maybe they're too bold. His voice is much too
quiet-like. Sometimes he gets too loud. He needs to have more dignity. Or, else
he's way too proud. Well, the sermons they're too long. And, maybe they're too
short. He ought to preach the word with dignity instead of "stomp and snort."
Well, that preacher we've got must be "the world's most stuck up man." Well, one
of the lady's told me the other day, "Well, he didn't even shake my hand." - "Excuses" by the Kingsmen
Yes, you have perfected your craft, but you don't limit your criticism to just the pastor (although he is your favorite target). You also like to point out how loud the worship team is, but how hard it was to hear the special music. You continue to insist that hymns be sung, and scripture be read from a version no one really understands. If I didn't know better, I'd say that you really dispise your Sunday School teacher, but you keep telling him that your corrections are done in Christian love.
Oh, church critic, we have become very familiar with you...almost as familiar as you are with the church constitution and Roberts Rules of Order. Yes, you really enjoy the church business meeting. These are the real spiritual moments for you. The pastor may bring down heaven on Sunday, but you feel closest to God when you're decrying the latest business item presented by your church leaders.
After all, you do know what's better for the church, the community and the country than your inferior leaders. I mean, it's not like they actually sought God's will before presenting their ideas to the church. At least, you suppose they haven't, because you view yourself as much more holy than they, and you would never stoop to the level of seeking out God's will. That just wouldn't be Christ-like, now would it?
We love thee church critic. Yes, if it weren't for you, we would have installed that projection system in the auditorium years ago. We would've even replaced the wood paneling that darkened our walls if it hadn't been for your insistance that they remain in honor of a member who moved away three decades ago.
We have hung around you long enough, dearest church critic, to know that your favorite color is red. But, you really only like that color when it's on the red flags you keep mentioning anytime progress is made within the walls of the church. And, you really love to wave them everytime the youth leaders want to hold an activity on church property.
Why, you have honed your skills so well that you have personally run off 32 individuals with your criticism. But, of course, they weren't Godly enough for this church, and it was just part of the weeding out process, wasn't it. Indeed, your skills are highly refined. 3/4 of the church are terrified of crossing you, and you have the pastor and his wife constantly on edge for fear of the trouble they might cause you. Granted, 1/4 of the church isn't afraid of you, but you view them as inferior heathens who are bound for Hell, and you are protecting yourself by not associating with them.
Oh, dear church critic. How unproductive you have become. You could be using your energy to encourage and improve your church to be able to reach folks who have never set foot inside a church before. You could be holding up your pastor and his family in constant prayer. You could be volunteering to help the youth leaders make those activities some of the most enjoyable experiences. You could be offering to teach a class, so you could share all the knowledge you've stored up in your many years as a sermon listener. You could turn in your red flags, and lay down your hammer of self-righteousness. You could humble yourself, just as Jesus did. You could learn to sacrifice your time, money and energy. You could try and see the world like God sees it - lost and going to Hell, but desperately in need of a savior.
The previous posting was gathered through more than a decade of actual experiences. I might've even been the critic some of the time, but I've learned my lesson. How about you? Do you have any experiences to share?
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